February 2012
3 posts
6 tags
Sitting in the living room with my parents,...
Actually painting my nails and watching Gossip Girl on my laptop with headphones. Seriously, is this thing over yet?
Bought Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hooded...
They’re so static-y, but so comfy. Today is a great decision-making day.
January 2012
14 posts
4 tags
I come from great stock.
My engineer father has been tasked with designing a kiosk he really doesn’t want to design. He has decided that a reasonable reaction is to secretly design it to look like the TARDIS and hope that they don’t notice.
Irrational guilt (the only skill I learned in...
Received an email from the chair of my school’s English department, asking if I’d pretty please consider majoring in English because my grade in Intro Lit last semester was ridiculous. I feel super guilty about how my reaction is “I’ll totally major in English… at a less shitty school.”
6 tags
4 tags
Me: How long do you think it would take for me to beat you to death with my watch?
Mom: Long enough that we'd both get bored of the process long before it actually killed me.
4 tags
For the anon who requested it. Please disregard my eye-rapingly pink bedroom walls and the fact that I’m pretty much incapable of using my computer without leaning over at some scoliosis-tastic angle.
Anonymous asked: Post a picture of yourself?
“We are all brothers under the skin—and I, for one, would be willing to...”
– Ayn Rand
1 tag
List of things I should not have said aloud while...
“That guy is hands-down the sexiest serial killer that has ever been on this show. He wouldn’t even need to use the boxcutter to get me to come with him. I would just be hoping he was a serial rapist, too.”
“Seriously, he’s burying her alive by pouring medium-sized bags of gardening soil into a gigantic hole? If she doesn’t realize she can just casually stomp...
1 tag
December 2011
25 posts
fuckyoumishacollins:
Fall Out Boy - Yule Shoot...
1 tag
everyone else: i'm getting an ipad and a laptop and $300 worth of clothes and...
me: MASTER HAS GIVEN DOBBY A SOCK
God is punishing me for being a fatass by putting a table full of loudass 14-year-olds who think they’re hilarious at the Taco Bell I’m at with my sister. I keep glaring at them every time they laugh. I’m determined to ruin their night because they are ruining mine with their fourth grade antics.
2 tags
2 tags
5 tags
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3 tags
I really don't get college students...
Every girl who has walked past me in the library is wearing Uggs, sweatpants, and her hair in a ratty bun on the top of her head.
I’m wearing heels, jeans, a blazer, and my hair is perfectly straightened.
Uh… was there a “finals week is when you dress like a hobo” memo that I just didn’t get?
4 tags
Really have no idea why this kid has been texting...
I swear, every time I talk to him, he acts like more and more of an asshole.
drowninthesea asked: did you finish nano?
November 2011
54 posts
5 tags
Embarrassing xbox experience of the day.
So, I’m playing Batman: Arkham Asylum, and I’m standing on this ledge, overlooking an area full of dudes with guns. And I need to get to my Batmobile before Harley Quinn fucks it up, so I’m like, gliding over all the dudes, stealthing along in the shadows, grappling up onto rooftops and shit. Like I’m a total badass. Sneaking around and shit, trying not to get caught.
And...
3 tags
Something || Escape the Fate
Sometimes I think...
On discussion of my best friend sending...
Mom: It's certainly not the strangest thing you two have ever concocted.
My sister: Heh. Con-COCK-ted.